I just used my sonic screwdriver to find where I dropped my phone under my bed.
August 2011
The worst thing about me is that I can make anyone fall in love with me.
Play
Beard Compliment Translations
“Wow, that’s a really nice beard you have.”
I want to have sex with you.
“Are you working on growing a beard?”
I would be extremely attracted to you if you started growing a beard.
“I hope you’re planning on growing out your beard for winter.”
I would be DTF if you had a winter beard.
“Your beard looks good today.”
My pants are coming off.
So it's official. That's the 10th person to ask me on a date in the past 3 weeks.
The second I changed my facebook relationship status to single guys descended from nowhere.
Help.
I just want to sit in my pajamas and not shower. Why can’t they leave me alone?
No one kill me, this is a legitimate problem.
If the radio at work plays that damn Old Navy commercial one more time I am going to drop kick it out the back window.
The Hurricane
People in New York:
People in Florida:
